a b o u t    o u r    b o a r d
Message Board
About the Board
Contact Us
Board FAQ
Review FAQ


Gather the finest of Seattle hobbyists and providers, and create a web based community where they can share experiences, chat, or just plain hang out.

The concept behind running this board is simple. There are no secrets, and no man behind the curtain. A Board of Directors (to be henceforth referred to as the BoD) was formed to insure that no one person determined the fate of the board. The moderator acts at the direction of the BoD. The BoD consists of 9 local hobbyists, together with a combined experience of over a century of experience in the hobby. The Chairman of the Board aka "CoB" presides over board meetings, as well as acts as Admin for the entire site.


C o B
Unholy Pirate [email protected]

Earned a reputation as a distinguished and enlightened moderator despite having no working knowledge of spelling, sentence structure or punctuation.

Has a taste in clothes so horrific that he is able to lower local property values simply by walking to the mail box. As to his own property, the recent earthquake did approximately $25,000 in improvements.

Likes to pretend he is Doctor Dolittle during sessions while wearing only a top hat and spats.

Will rue the day he chose Tahoe Ted to moderate this board.
B o D
Tahoe Ted [email protected]

Has achieved exalted rank of "Elder Statesman of Seattle Poon" despite having had only three sex partners his entire life:
1. Trixie "The HumanFire Hydrant"
2. A suggestively shaped prune danish at the airport "13 Coins"
3. A stuffed walrus named "Mr. Yum-Yum".

Is producing a designer-line of dildos called "Lil' Ted".

Already planning Unholy Pirate's violent overthrow as Board Chairman and wishes to be addressed at board meetings as "Grand Imperial Poohbah".

Is referred to affectionately by customers and providers everywhere as "cheese-dick" and "scrotum-head".
DeepDiver [email protected]

Subject of more "dick" jokes then any American since Richard Nixon.

Voted by high school alma mater as "Dick Most Likely to be a Solar Eclipse".

Was able to vote twice in the last election because Diver lives in one congressional district and his "dick" lives in another.

Only "dick" chosen by the Seafair Parade committee to serve as Grand Marshal AND as a float.

Had testicles named "Thor's Twins" and registered with the Library of Congress...

I think you can see where we're going here...
Mr. Magoo [email protected]

Constantly wishes that Gym would carry off his trollop of a wife once and for all so he can do some serious pooning.

Has permanent case of "morning wood" resulting in him not being able to leave the house until noon. Made a mistake by trying to drive to work before relieving "His Woodness" and accidentally activated the driver side air-bag.

Preferred a situation comedy motif for his pooning until his "Brady Bunch" session with Baylee got REALLY out of hand.

Refers to begging as "foreplay".
Tongue [email protected]

Hasn't had an erection since the second Reagan administration.

After being arrested for public indecency was charged with violating the Geneva War Crimes Tribunal - a first in American legal jurisprudence.

Missed fifth grade graduation because of jury duty.

Got his nickname for "trying to slip Wayne Newton a big wet one" after binging on sterno and Hawaiian Punch in Las Vegas.

Told Vanna White while shooting "Wheel of Fortune" locally that he would "give up a kidney to be in her underpants for a day". As a result has been banned from all Seattle public buildings.

Pretty much a major fucking retard...
Oggie [email protected]

Has spent so much time having free sex in Brazil that he makes all local providers wear a Penelope Cruz mask: even the midget (especially the midget).

Is constantly coming in second behind Tongue for "Dumbest Pooner Handle".

Puts the "Burger King" logo on his underwear so he can tell providers that it's the "Home of the Whopper".

Likes wearing a Darth Vader helmet and making providers "yield to the Force".
Sguy [email protected]

Recurring fantasies about June Cleaver has made him a pariah in every neighborhood he has ever lived. He'll forget his medication and before you know it will start shrieking "I'm The Beaver" at Wal-Mart terrifying children and small animals everywhere. As a result has a revolving account with U-Haul.

Likes to walk up to strange women at funerals and say "Who's Your Daddy?".

Thinks Theodore Roosevelt is President of the United States
("Jezzus, isn't that old bastard EVER going to DIE!?!").
Triple Shot [email protected]

Refused to give up TBD Moderator Crown when he retired and insists on wearing it to job interviews and AA meetings.

Refers to Unholy Pirate as "douche-bag". Actually refers to EVERYONE as "douche-bag" which explains the several dozen job interviews and the AA meetings.

Likes eating pussy so much that his driver's license picture shows his face in some lady's crotch.

Providers know when he is about to climax when he starts singing "The Song of the Valkyrie" from "Apocalypse Now".
Gentleman Gym [email protected]

Constantly worries that Magoo is going to plunge an ice-pick into his frontal lobes for walking off with his wife at a party and fucking her into a coma.

Had the opportunity to finally publish a negative sex review after an uninspired masturbation session but in the end relented, saying that it wasn't his regular hand and YMMV and he would give it another chance, blah, blah, blah.

Likes to dress up in sessions as Genghis Khan and refers to his crotch as "The Mongol Horde".
B o a r d   M o d e r a t o r
Tahoe Ted [email protected]

(see description above)
W e b m a s t e r
Tarzanna Designs [email protected]

Profile coming soon.

Message Board | About the Board | Contact Us

2001 Tarzanna Designs